Would you think my life is horrible after reading this?
Topic: Would you think my life is horrible after reading this?
April 24, 2019 / By Bertha Question:
I am 29 year old male..Can you tell me in what extent my life sucks?
1.I have social anxiety disorder.
2.I kind of developed P.S.T.D after I beaten up and humiliated by some guys back home.(I still feel ashamed eventhough I feel like I deserved it). I have developed a fear of getting beaten up in public even in the class room.
3.I am always edgy and stressed out.
4.I am not married.
5.I don't have a girlfriend.
6.I am unemployed now. (I was working for 9 years then i gave up my job and decided to go for bachelors degree in abroad.Now I am a student but I regret my decision to study as I cant concentrate on it)
7.I have no friends or no relatives here. (Just been a couple months in this country. I am new to here)
8.I cant even find a part time job. I am short on money now. I eat only once a day. I sleep in someones living room paying a very less rent. I this freezing cold I cant access a heater.
9.All my friends are settled and being settled in life.
10. I have no Idea where I am heading to.
Best Answers: Would you think my life is horrible after reading this?
Affrikah | 1 day ago
I've been feeling the same way for years. Visited many therapists (psychologists, counsellors) and have tried things like St. Johns Wort to aid with feelings of mild depression. I was born, my Mother ran away, I was fostered, then adopted. My adoptive mother was a borderline alcoholic and the child care assistant they hired for me was abusive. I developed PTSD and can't let people 'touch' me now, unless I give them permission. A lot of my life has been an uphill struggle with periods of depression and anxiety, and also short periods of time when I had panic attacks.
I've had a lot of people give me their 'wise advice.' Exercise more, eat a better diet, get 8 hours sleep, think more positively, control your thinking and you'll control your feelings, be more 'mindful' etc...I've also had people say unhelpful things like "get over it" or "you think your life is tough? your one of the lucky ones so man-up!"
The only thing I haven't tried is seeing a Medical Psychiatrist, because I don't want to have 'depression' or 'anxiety' on my medical records.
Your life does seem to be really tough for you just now, with a lot of the elements in your life failing on you, or not going to plan. It's not a nice feelings, especially when you might look at other peoples lives and think to yourself "there lives are much better."
Unless your problems respond to things like counselling or 'therapy' then I would start to consider whether the reason your life feels like it 'sucks,' is because it is indeed a pretty crappy existence for you just now (your not just 'imagining it' or 'being too negative'; your life is indeed not very conducive to good mental health.
If I were you, I'd do the first thing that I did when my problems started; go and speak to someone. It doesn't matter if it's your parents or a therapist. Your problems won't just 'go away,' but you might feel slightly better because you have someone who will listen to you and you'll start to feel less alone. You could join an internet chat group that supports people with social anxiety problems or mental health problems. You want someone who can help talk you through some of the reasons behind your current circumstances and help you find ways that you can improve aspects of your life.
You are currently missing all the things that are kind of essential to feel happy and have a good life: A sense of security and financial independence, a person to share your problems with and who will listen to you, a sense of direction and meaning in life, a sense of being 'connected' to your community and feeling 'at home,' a sense of emotional 'security' and of being 'strong and happy inside.' Nobody can expect to feel happy, when all these things are missing.
I am truly sorry that life is going this way for you just now. It can improve, and people love people who've had it a bit tough or have had to struggle. A lot of people leave school, go straight to college/university, get a good job and that's them (lifes taken care of.) You've had a more difficult experience, but this is your chance to look at your life and ask yourself what's important FOR YOU, not for your other 'successful friends.' Is it family that's important? A girlfriend? A hobby or career? A particular type of job? Your religion? It will be tough, but it's an exciting time for you, starting to build the foundations of YOUR OWN LIFE. Ideally, most people have this done for them in a happy childhood/early adulthood, but you've missed that so your working from scratch.
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Originally Answered: What should I do? I'm so unhappy with my horrible life?
You are very unhappy and thinking that you do have a horrible life. It is already a good thing of you to be reflecting, to be putting your consciousness into words for so trying and finding a way out, perhaps some good suggestions from others against all your present troubles.
In the field of tension between your being in distress and hopefully your growing perspicacity, from a level of more confident force you might soon be reaching a state of more daring resourceful glowing action towards better health and happiness.
You might try and be thinking that you are at the bottom of a deep well with two alternatives, the one being of you remaining there in that dire reality of life and the other of you finding a way to climb up into the free sun-kissed air. When at the bottom of a well, you may still be thinking of possible clever strategies for your adaptation and survival; when at the bottom of the well your life may be infused with good hope as that there might be somebody passing by the well and looking inside, or hearing your voice, for so finding a ladder or a rope, or climbing down to fetch you to bring you out into open air.
You might try and sit down and relax all on your own, at some secret place, and lovingly holding your cheeks with the warm palms of your hands; you might be thinking that from a level of more force and of more voice you will soon become able to be the good actor; then you are the good actor more diligently working at building up, or more passionately adding up to, some good events and some great perhaps wonderful memories for a future; wonderful memories for your own future!
In your life, in your necessary interactions with others, in your interactive negotiations with others within family, with a sweet-heart, with boss or other superior, with colleague, with friend and or with good stranger against difficulties, facing challenges, you will adopt more the attitude of a diligent good partner.
If your depression is unbearable, a strategy where you will try and enjoy more fresh sun-kissed air and more good health-promoting food might be of great help; also, you might do more about some physical unfolding, with some dedicated perspiring exertions in sport, in tilling a garden, in going for walks or hikes or rides on your own or with somebody. Your family still does provide food and good shelter for you while fresh sun-kissed air is still for free! All you will have to do is to gratefully receive such free riches in your life. Then you will try and more daringly contrive or find or get for free from friend or from good stranger a new strategy of a better survival and of work in your life.
So, in your life, in whatever you are doing and loving to do or dreaming to do or are supposed to do (must do) for hopefully your own better survival, you will try and adopt more the attitude of a diligent experimenter so that your experimenting may evoke more experience (good, or bad needing corrections, changes) that may be leading on to more expertise so that eventually you may become the cleverer expert or even the admired great glowing master or the holy saint on the path or avenue of your own life.
From the deeper warm throbbing vaults of your own heart, from along the immense sun-kissed or gloomy wind-swept and at times even deadly stormy shores and landscapes and horizons and heavenly stretches and yonder of your own soul, you are preparing for a great apotheosis of glowing certainty and of delicious as if perennial bliss; if you are an ardent believer, you will be on the path or avenue forwards upwards towards your own God's ever loving nearness.
So also you might try and do! But do also all the while be more open for chances of lots great merry thoughtless laughs in good company, if good loving company is there, or more often more sublimely all on your own. Good luck to you!
Every single one of our feelings are a direct result of what we think. We can feel nothing without thinking it first. So, your internal dialog is your reality. You are brain washing yourself with negative thoughts. You are beating yourself up over and over. No wonder why you feel battered and bruised.
You have to stop telling yourself that you have a terrible life and that you are worthless. Because, it really is not true, it is just what you choose to believe to be true.
You have low self esteem and lack confidence. It is time that you begin to do things you enjoy so you can feed your soul. People who pursue their passions are naturally happier people. It is time for you to get involved with things you enjoy. Do things you like to do. Go places where you want to be. I realize you lack funds, but many things that feed our soul are cost free or inexpensive. You are in a different country. Certainly there is much to do and to see in this new amazing place, right? Why not also consider joining a club or taking up a sport or do some volunteer work?
Once you feed your soul, you will be strong while being ready, willing and able to focus on your education. You can do this. You can. Once you place yourself in areas of your interest, you will be among like minded individuals where you will make friends and perhaps even find romance. And, once you get back on track, you will graduate with a better education and then the career will follow. It will. You'll see.
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I also once had a very crappy life. Really. I did not want to live, i was seriously contemplating comitting suicide. But then, not suddenly, but slowly and with a lot of effort my life turned to much better. I m glad i did not kill myself. So as a word of wisdom: things in life do not happen overnight, and to receive a reward of a better life u must suffer in the beginning. And i think the more u suffer the better life u get later. U can not get friends over night, u can not get a job overnight. But u must try and try and try. Wallowing in self pity is never good for anyone.
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I'd say you have some problems, to say the least. Talk to your parents and try to move back home . Then start looking for work and don't stop until you have a job. Best of luck.....things will work out if you make some changes and work at it.
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It sounds you are just exagerating how bad you are. For instance, item 4 and 5 are nearly equivalent, and you say in item 7 you have no friend but in item 9 you write "all my friends are setteled down" so you have friends and you are in contact with them.
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Originally Answered: Can someone help me find out the life expectancy/life span a person would have if they eat organic vs. Fast?
You probably won't find one... at least not an accurate one. There are too many variables that influence life span to be able to boil it down to organic/artificial food. You can add to this the fact that calories and quantities also play a large role - it's entirely possible for a person to frequently eat reasonable portions of fast food and be perfectly healthy, and just as possible for a person to eat unhealthy quantities of organic food and suffer serious medical problems.
Don't get me wrong - I love organic food. It tastes better (in my opinion), and it's usually more environmentally friendly. Most of the arguments for eating organic food are based on the naturalistic fallacy, though. It's the idea that something is automatically better because it's natural, but there are *lots* of examples where that isn't the case.